Raising a Billingual Child - The Parents!

It has now been four years that we have been raising Tullula as a Bilingual child, and so far it has been working out for her!
But how has it been working out for the parents???

So for a little overview of the situation we are in;

• we live in Australia.
• Stephen is Australian, he is a carpenter thus has never had to learn another language living in Australia all his life. He was learning a bit of Spanish when we met, due to the travels he was going to do in Latin America. Reality is that we ended up doing that trip together and with my fluent Spanish his was left aside...Who needs to learn a language when you have your own private translator! But he followed me back to France and realised that being with a French girl in France he better learn French Instead! its true that in the 6 years that we have been together he has learnt more French than he ever would of imagined, but once again; my English is perfect thus we speak English together...
• I am French, and as you see not too bad with languages!!!
• We speak English at home.
• I don't have any Family (French ones) in Australia.

When Tullula was born, we were in the Marquises Islands, and being that they are French Islands, it was natural for me to talk to her in French. I did write a lot about all that in a previous blog post

I still to this day, talk to Tullula in French 100% of the time! I may every now and then slip in an English word when we are in front of someone that's talking to her/us!

Everyone still thinks its such a wonderful thing that I do it, but they are only thinking of Tullula and the skills she is learning...And to be fair they are right!
But I don't think anyone ever actually stops to think what it must be like for me!

Speaking to Tullula all the time in French also means:

• People around us don't understand, thus cant participate.
• People think I don't speak English, so don't really engage with me, and that means I don't make friends very much, or never I could say when I am out and about at parks, birthday parties, toddler activities!
• Some poeple might even make out that I am just rude to do such a thing.
• Some may be intimidated.
• Total Isolation. At home and out.

So reality is that I am in constant isolation, out and about as well as at home...No one ever understands so its just Tullula and I all the time...
I do know another French couple, and it so nice for me to spend time with them, as its the only place where I can be myself-French interact with my child and be social all the while being understood and we become a unit all together!
If I did not have that, it would be a real nightmare...

I have had moments, not long ago where I have felt like its all just too much for me...I get tired of being isolated, of not being understood by the poeple around us, by being left out of social groups!
Knowing that if I was to just switch to English all would be easier at home as well!
Yet, I really love the fact that Tullula is doing so well, and I love the fact that she CAN speak French...And I really want her to be able to live in France later on in life!

So I have to just accept the situation I am in...
In all fact I hate it...The Isolation is not easy to wear.

That's my isolation, but what about Stephens??? He has a home where the two other poeple that live in it, speak French. A language that's hard to learn and goes to fast to understand!!
He cant participate in what we are saying, he does not know what we may be up too...So he switches off...Normal I guess...Sure Tullula talks to him in English and then we are all able to participate in a Family unit, and once the topic is know to all, he is sort of able to understand what I may then have to say in French...But how frustrating it must be at times for him as well?!!!

 Its funny as at times it makes me think that we are sort of like a divided family...
All for the sake of raising a child that will be fluent in both French and English!

I sure hope she will thank us someday!!!

"Je peut pas" ....

Unfortunately its not the kind of words I would prefer to be hearing from Tullula...
The reality is she often says it now in frustration and it stops her from talking further at times!

"Oh.....JE PEUT PAS".....its often followed  by a "I can't do it" (exact translation of "je peut pas" actually)
As she might be throwing herself on the ground, giving up as all is too hard!

It has been over 4 months that we are now back from our trip to France and the reality to be expected is that English has once again become Tullula's first language and only having me to practise her French means she is not getting much of it once more...I am still only talking to her in French exclusively, and its been interesting to notice that she will switch to French when addressing me where ever we are...Clearly meaning that she has no problems swapping from one language to the other!
Yet its the vocabulary that's the difficulty, she forgets words in French and it has sort of become a stutter as she tries to find her words and if they don't come she gets frustrated and its all over!

I often tell her to calm down and just say it in English, but she does not...She will ask me how to say this or that and continue...There are times when both languages are mixed and its done in such a natural way that I dot point it out and I don't know if Tullula actually notices!!!

I have noticed myself trying to use a more simple vocabulary, a more simple speech to use with her...But reality is I have to stop, as if I don't use the right words how will she learn?
And after all its good for me too to practise proper French!

The very sad part, and I hate to have to admit this...But I have noticed that Tullula has been also struggling a bit with her English...When she talks she has no problems, her speech is clear and she has all the right vocabulary, but she has a tendency to stay on one word for a bit at times before she moves on...Like a broken disc...And we sit there waiting for to to spit it out, say what she has to say....Its a bit strange...I truly believe that its due to her Bilingualism Brain!

One day when I picked her up from Day Care she ran to me as she does for a hug...then went back to the little girl she was playing with and said to her:
"You want to see my Mummy? Sheeeeeeee's Different!!!"

I sat there thinking what's that supposed to mean?? Now I am different?? What is my daughter trying to insinuate?
And I realised that it was because I speck French to her all the time, not like the other mummy's, making me different from the vast majority!
Ok, I can deal with that!!!

I have mentioned how the Topic of raising a Bilingual child often comes up, and the interesting part is that whats most spoken about is the child!
Well there is a lot that can be said about the parent as well.
But that will be for the next chapter!

021/344.....The Alphabet of a Bilingual Child!

And the learning has started!!

It sure is a bit tricky to be teaching a Bilingual Child the Alphabet!
I have been telling her the Alphabet in French, and of course we often sing the "ABC" song in English...
But its letter recognition that I find a challenge!
As "A" for "Apple" is not "A" for "Pomme" (apple in French)...So I do then say a French "A" word.
I confuse myself so I think my hesitations and pauses must be confusing to her too!
Why is "A" for apple not "A" for pomme the same word in different languages???

We have been having quite a few "Why oh Why" questions, but not too many challenging ones yet, and I am not looking forward to this why one...

Its tempting to maybe just stick to the Alphabet in one language, but then does that mean that I would not be trying to teach her to read in French? Should I be pointing out from now that French and English are very different?
Or maybe it can be held off a bit until she actually has more understanding of what the Alphabet actually means....
I am about to face another challenge in what it takes to raise a Bilingual child!!!

What have you done?
What has worked for you?
Any advise for me?

Conversations!

I think we have entered a really funny stage for the world around us!
We have been going out to social events like camping festivals ever since Tullula was a little baby, but I think being in such close proximity with others changes as children get older, start walking and moslty talking, being more social!

Not that Tullula is very social yet, but talking she sure does a lot of!!
This weekend we went to our second "The Planting Festival" and it was interesting to hear how poeple around us were amused at the conversations they were hearing from Tullula and I!
A One way conversation...As reality is they were not able to understand what I was saying, but could understand all Tullula had to say, and could clearly see that we were having a coherent conversation, meaning that Tullula was understand all I had to say....

When I think of it, its true that it must be strange to hear such a conversation...To realise that we are having conversations in two languages, each our own yet understand one another!

Stephen has continued on to tell me that for him, being on the outside of it, he has witnessed many moments where poeple raise an eye brow, or are amused at what they are seeing/hearing...He has found it interesting to stand back and watch it happen...I cant see it, as I am in it. But it must be so interesting to observe!
If it was me, I would want to sit there and stare at myself and Tullula all day!

There also has been a change in the way people per sieve me...I have mentioned how isolating it has been to talk to Tullula in French and all, but I get the impression that now others/strangers realise that I must speak English, as despite me talking to her in French, I seem (well I do, but to others I seem) to be understanding her English, thus I must be able to speak it too!!
And this weekend has be the proof of that, as poeple would speak to me as well without any apprehension that maybe I did not speak English!
How wonderful...


Buts that's just the way it is at the moment...I speak in French and Tullula replys mostly in English!
And I hope someday it will change where we will both be speaking French and just sound like foreigners!!

              Here is a little video of a band that playing this weekend, I just LOve her voice!

TinPan Orange

Enjoy!

Forcing the Language!

I am no expect at teaching and I am no child psychologist but so far we have been having some great result with the way Tullula is evolving with the French Language!
So I started to wonder if it was good or not to actually force it upon them was mentioned to me!

I have quite a few multi-lingual families around me. And the children that are in one language house holds really seem to take to their mother tongue so much more..I envy it, yet understand why!
I have one German couple, and naturally their little girl speaks a lot of German, sure she mixes both languages as well, and she even makes up her own words that are half German hand English, but being that when she is at home both her father and mother speak in German, she does too!

Then I know a French couple, their little one is only starting to talk, but its pretty clear that he favors French! Despite the fact that he too goes to day care a few days a weeks, he still is showing sings of talking more French!

Where did she get such long eye lashes from?

I must say, I find it adorable to see these little people taking their native language in Australia, it just adds  another dimension to the word cute!

That's when I was told that maybe I should just tell Tullula that i did not understand her when she spoke to me in English, in order to force he to speak to me in French!
I must say I did do it a little, especially when she would say "Good Night" I would make her say in in French, and she did! Then I would also make her repeat things in French when she wanted something, and she would do it when she wanted what ever it was bad enough!
But then there have been other times where she would just not want to, I know she understood what I wanted from her, but somehow she just did not want to do it!

Like tonight I said "Bonne Nuit" (good night in French) and that's one of the few things she actually was doing, repeating it in French to me...But lately she has not been, and I would just leave it at that and walk out of her room..Tonight I did not, I repeated myself, and waited for an answer...It eventually came...In English!
I told her to say it in French, and she just shrugged her shoulders, making it clear to me that she had no desire to do so!
So I left it at that...

I don't know, should I force it on her, at the risk of her hating French altogether because it was such a burden on her? I don't want to do that...Yet I am stepping on little stones here as reality is I have no idea how its done to raise a bilingual child!!!
And I think reality is there is no wrong or right way, as every child is different in their ability and willingness to do things!

I think for now I will leave it this way and just be happy that she still is understand EVERYTHING I say to her in French, and be happy to hear the few words that she does say in French and hope that this upcoming Europe trip will change the way she does use the language!
I hope, because I really long to hear her talk to me in my mother tongue someday!

Anyone got any ideas on the topic?

Think Think and Life

 We have been to yet another Festival...Its been a year full of festivals!!! "Golden Days" in Coolum was a good day and it started to rain only as we were on our way back to the bus.
We spent the night there as the next day I had my 2nd market in perigian...It rained and was very slow.
Yet I made a very exiting contact; a lady is in the process of organising a Beach festival and she would like me to Host a couple of workshops of my "Ojo de Dios"!
I am super keen to do such a thing!!!

I am working on new product, some more sewing as well as a few D.I.Y kits. I should start thinking of re-opening my Etsy shop.
Just taking my time I guess!

I have been making little toys for Tullula, I let her have a look at the books I have and she chooses what she wants. Then stands on her little chair as she looks at it come to life under my sewing machine!



Home feels like a bomb has exploded and the cleaning never ending! I guess I have been also a bit slack and tired, other things on my mind...like sewing and creating!

As for things on my mind; Christmas is one of them as well as Tullula's upcoming 3rd birthday!
We got our very 1st Birthday Invitation from day care. A little boy in her class we don't even know!
Made me think; gosh what am I going to do for her Birthday, are we going to have a theme? Who will we invite? Up until now her birthdays have been a bit of a flop with no one coming to the 1st (apart from my mother who was with us for her holiday and Stephen's mother who popped by for a little), then for her 2nd, I had planned a BBQ at the park, but it was a raining day, and some wanted me to cancel it! But I could not, so went along with it, and the whole thing was a great big flop!!!
I just did not think or realise that poeple don't expect to eat, so I had all this food and them the guest left as there seems to be a silent rule that one stays at a party only for a couple of hours, so by the time the cake came out, we were alone!
Poor little Tullula, I don't want to do that to her again!

As for Christmas, we have not done it yet!
So what do we do about it this year is a big question?? Do we do it or will we skip it again this year? And if we do have Christmas, how are we going to do it? I say this cause I don't actually believe in Christmas, I don't like that Cola Cola has taken it over! So what shall we do about it???
I have to think think think...

Last night we had a really funny "bilingual event" I will call it when this happened:
At the dinner table I burped; and said "Excuse me" (yes in English) Stephen looks at me and then at Tullula with big eye's...And he says (in French) "oh maman a dit pardon" ...And Tullula says...."No No,You say Pardon (pointing to me) and you say Excuse me (pointing to stephen)"
We both looked at each other...She really knows who should say what, and we had swapped languages and it was all wrong to her!!!
How funny!

2 Month Later

It has been about that since Tullula and I have been back from Fiji!
My father is on his way back there after spending a little bit of time on the Island of Wallis, a stop over on his way to New Caledonia! I do wish I was going back to visit him....Hmmm...

When we first got back Tullula was really talking a lot more French than English, normal being that she had been surrounded by it for the biggest part of 3 weeks!
Yet her language skills have had a huge boost on the past month, and probably even more so since she has been in the Junior kindy room at day care, surrounded by slightly older children.
Slowing she is definitely talking a lot more in English, even refusing to say things in French at times! Things that I know she can say, like counting! It does sadden me a tiny weeny bit ok a lot at times, but I am conforted by the fact that she still understands EVERYTHING I say to her, and that I know when we go back to France for a visit next year, then she will pick it up again!

But I am finding it hard at times to continue talking to her in French Exclusively, I know I must but somehow at times its a bit hard!!
Especially when she is with her little friends; as they are all now at a talking stage, understanding and communicating...She may understand what I am saying, but now they are left in the dark, so every now and then I have to make an exception and switch to English!

My oh My...This Bilingual business is not easy at times!!!

Wake up Call.

Wake up call!
"MOM COME HERE NOW"...
Nice way to be woken up....(not really I must say)
but then when I heard Tullula say "Papa come here" I rubbed his arm and was delighted that for once Tullula was going to let him get her out of her cot!
Yes, we still have Tullula sleeping in a cot...Its convenient, and she does not seem to mind, so for now we have decided not to change what's working!!

Once Stephen got to her, as always she refused to have him get her out, asking for "MOMY"...
So he came back to bed, and the calling for me started once more!
I thought that maybe it was time for an experiment, and said: "En Français Tullula" (In French Tullula)...
Basically asking her to say it in French!
Well we got silence....

She then says it again "Mom come here"...
I repeat my quest for her to talk to me in French, and once more there is a silence!
She must understand what I want, but I guess she does not know how to say it...

So once again she asks for me to come get here, and I say, "Viens Ici Tullula" (Come here Tullula). Will she now use the words I have given her???

No, but she did understand what they meant as she then tried to crawl out her bed (probably for the first and last time) as we heard a crash and cry!!!
Found her still in her bed, but with a little blood in her mouth! Poor thing, she tried to get out and somehow bit her lip or tongue, we are still unsure!!!

I shall be more careful what I say.

But the experiment has worked, she knows that it means to talk in French or English!
I think?