Why am I doing the 365?

So Why Am I doing the 365 photo Project and where does it come from?

It seems the original 365 project comes from Hailey. and It was more of a 365 Grateful project, and the whole idea was to take a photo a day of the things she was grateful for, to help overcome depression as she says in her blog!
Since then the whole idea has gone far beyond in the world and types of reasons and project to do it!
I have discovered an amazing project done in Brazil of the one Light House taken every day, from near far and in any angle or view possible! I found some great projects on Make Use of website...There is the Cloud Community who take photo's of clouds every day...I would really enjoy that!!
There are some poeple who have as project to take photos of themselfs, like the Amazing photo's of Brendo Burton...He has such talent...So does Jee Young-Lee and the rooms she sets ups for the photo shoots!
So  there are many ways to start a photo project to document ones photo's, like the Photo Friday, or 52 weeks projects, or Dave that did his project with his little girl and really funny photo shoot of them.
Well as you can see there are many ideas and groups to document ones progress!!

As for my reasons for doing it and my topic?
My Topic is Tullula...My Daughter of almost 4 years!
I want to be grateful and cherish her for her every moment and decieded to take a photo of her a day for the next year to open my eyes to her little life, to the little person that she is and how she is growing..Becoming more and more her own little person...Before I forget, and to love her more today, everyday!
I have to admit that I have been suffering from depression ever since I have had her, or maybe it actually started slowly once we arrive here in Australia!

I have many ups and downs and too many days where I no longer want to be her mother or a part of her life..Yet somewhere inside me the fight continues and I calm myself, don't ever want my child to be heart broken just because I was not able to cope or willing to find a way to make things better!  I did not choose to have a child to just give up...So little by little I am trying to find things to help me, to heal me and to be a better mother, a loving mother and one that is able to let go and just be!
I know not every day is easy, that's why I have started my project with some photo's of her Grumpy and unwilling to listen...As that is the way my life is as a mother...Not picture perfect!

I have joined the 365 Project Community to showcase my one photo a day there!

I want...It all!!

I can be really confusing (mostly for my poor Stephen) and confused girl!

Now I have been warned that I classified as a “high sensory” person!

It has to do with the fact that I have moved around so much growing up, and that of course in many different country’s thus creating a need for constant stimulation.. I am not sure if need if the right word, maybe it’s more of a habit!

Well I often write list, all sorts of lists: To do, want to do, to finish, and dreams!

I like to be able to keep my dreams on a scale where they are actually achievable, and there is no better feeling than crossing out that dream; done! To then have to make a new dream!

There is so much I want to do…It does become a jungle in my head, and when I want something, when I want to do something; I want it NOW!!

It’s really bad…I am terrible!

Last night I decided I should get it all OUT my head and onto paper to see what it looks like.

This is what I got!!!

-I want to learn, read, and write.

-I want to become a yoga instructor.

-I want to be grateful.

-I want to study midwifery in a French territory.

-I want to be a good lover, partner and friend.

-buy a boat and sail a bit.

-See remote Australia. 
-live in our Bus.

-I want to go to India.

-I want to Travel/live in Latin America.

-I want to live in Iceland or the Falklands (some cold remote island) 6month, less than a year!

-Go on a Holiday with Stephen (no Tullula) to Indonesia.

-I want to teach English overseas.

-I want to foster a child.

-I want to have an exchange student!

-I want to dance.

-Play with Fire.

-I want to sell on the markets.

-I want to be involved in festivals somehow?

-I want to play the Didgeridoo or the recorder (maybe the didgeridoo is going to be too hard?)

-I want to do Mehendi.

-I want to create.

-become a Doula.

-I want to do the Diploma in Pregnancy Massage.
-Sew cloths.

Well I must say, my head does actually feel less heavy and full now that I got all that out!

It’s a great exercise and this way, maybe I can work my way along the list and see what I can do about all these wants of mine!

Do you have a list like this? With it all there??

Its 2am...

I can’t get back to sleep! It seems like this bed has some sort of 2am wake up call for me…Tonight I lay awake thinking of all the things I have to do once I get back to reality, life in Australia!

In the past I would lay awake in this bed with Braxton Hicks contractions. They them became real labour contractions (at 2am still) and later on; on the 15^th of January 2010, its in this bed that I laid, trying to get some rest as a surge came over me to get off quickly as the waters broke! I think I kinda slid off somehow, in my puffed state!!

In this bed I laid for 2 months with my new born baby, before we were scooped up to my Dear Love Stephen’s Home land, Firm land of Australia!!!

This place is full of pregnancy memories…

But today I lay here in my fathers bed (he left us his comfy aft cabin) and I am here with a toddler, my little girl!

Who also wakes up in the middle of the night to caress my shoulder or grab my hand to place it on her belly!

She will not fail to wake me up at 6am…

I must sleep…I have already read my “Frankie” Magazine for an hour.

What next??

When I get home I want to set up an art room for myself. Go on a date for Stephen. Have some tea with the girls. Can’t wait to have some laughs with Ana and Heilailai on our “Thursday Night=Craft Night”, See my cool work colleagues. Watch out baking trays; I’m coming home! Sew, Sew, Sew…Spend hours, on the internet (limited electricity time on a boat!!!)

Hmmmm Maybe I now have some things to Dream about…

Twenty Dollars Later!

That's the price to pay!
A few weeks ago I wrote this and well what I ended up doing is going back to see my psychiatrist! 
I used to see her on a fortnightly basis when I was dealing with Post Natal Depression and Anxiety/Panic Attacks I was having!
But after going to the see my Doctor, and bluntly saying I was depressed, she said that really I did not have all the symptoms of depression and maybe all I needed was to talk to someone! Ok, after all I'm not super keen on taking a pill every day for any sort of reason (yet I do take some things).

So here I am again, sitting in this chair, saying as much as I can in an hours session. Probably getting carried away at times as I tell my very long stories! Then every now and then, I cry and she hands me the tissues!
That sight kinda makes me smile inside! She must do that a lot, hand the tissues over!!!
I talk and talk, about what I miss, the things that are all wrong in my life, how I feel about this and that, the relationships I don't have, the friendships I miss...The way of the Europeans (no offence, but we are a particular breed), and the things that I do love about living in Australia!
Sure I complain about my partner and even mother in law (we have not been getting along AT all for a year now) it saddens me...But I just need to talk and talk!!!
I know people here, but reality is that I don't have friends I can open up to, so this is my outlet!
My $20 bitching time, my $20 pity party and someone to listen, how great is that?
Sometimes we just need to let it all out! I do have a Diary, have had one since I was 12. It used to be a wonderful outlet for me, to write and write! But these days I find it hard to write, when I have someone lying right next to me in bed! And reality is I need a person, to talk to and listen to me!
So $20 will be just fine for now!!!

 

Mainly Music

Friday Morning.
We attend our local Mainly Music group. There really are some wonderfull poeple, giving so much of their time and energy into doing thease events for us all to enjoy with out children.
We have been attending on and off for about a year and a half now! Tullula still sits on my lap, does very little and is quite expressionless...I danca about, sing the songs and probably make a fool of myself as I have noticed that most poeple are quite shy and reserved in their moves!
This morning I noticed one of the Voluntears smile as she saw me predifn laughing as that was the song!
Yes I was over doing it! But Im sure she loved it!
She makes le laught that Lady, when ever two mother get caught up in conversation, she is not afraid to say in the Microphone "Excuse me; Excuse me; Excuse me, we are here to be with out children" So many times has she done something like that to talkative mother during the session! I smile, but she is right, surly we can give 30min of our time only to our children and wait that time for after, and catch up with a cup of tea and nice sandwishes they have made for us!!!
Well, thats not me!
I am too busy sing and doing the actions to talk to anyone, and anyway I dont have anyone to talk to!
I dont consider myself unsocialble, but its true that is is hard to meet poeple, make/build friendships!
Evenmore so being a forigner...What do I talk about??
I have not been in Australia Long enough to know things, to have things in common with poeple!
Yes, after 2 years I still feel left out! Hard...
So this morning, all I felt like doing was crying. But I helf those tears in...and left as soon as the session was over! I had to get out of there...
I went straight to the Community Health Center, I knew I needed to talk to someone and NOW!
I think I must come to terms with the fact that maybe I still am suffering from Post Natal Depression. Maybe I was right when I thought that that was all over fast. Maybe its NOT over!
Now I know that maybe at this stage its no longer "called" Post Natal Depression, but just plain depression. Who knows? All I know is that the sadness I fet this moring was all relaited to watching all those mothers at Mainly Music....So surly my depression is relaited to something baby!!!
I know that I am in a stiky hole and that my our life here is a what we hoped and I we are aware of the negative factors of it all...So I guess all that needs to be done is change that!
Right?
We all know that sometimes in life things are easyer said that done!
We sall see...
 

Searching for the French!

Its Funny how when we live in a country we go over sea's to get away from all the rest just like us!
To feel different, special maybe!
But when you live somewhere, and its not your Native country, you earn for that contact of your fellow country men!
In any case, I feel like that!!!!
I long to have people to talk to in French, to have things in common, to talk about the same music and culture! To eat GOOD cheese and drink wine sitting at a dinner table for hours.....
So, last week we went to the Beaujolais Nouveaux opening night! In hopes to meet some Frenchies that live on the Coast!
It was a great occasion to get dressed up, how good it can feel!
We had appetisers and wine...
And No I did not meet any French, but Australians that want to practise their French!!!

Bus of Ours

While we were overseas Stephen's sister sold us her Bus!

We thought we should get it, as previously we had been travelling in his Van, and the Bus seemed like a step up...And reality was that we thought at least we will have a Home to go back to in Australia! And, lets face it, buying a second hand bus is a lot cheaper than buying a house!!!!

But, once we got back we lived with his mother for a few months, then we started renting this little Unit we are living in now, and the bus has juts been sitting in the driveway.Not too sure what its doing there!

We tried many times to get it ready to go travelling with friends and family, but we never actually got things finished! Money and time too short!

But we have been at it once more, and it looks like we may have it ready for our next camping trips!

Its really very exiting, a whole new adventure! I have never lived in a bus!!!!

I have painted the inside yellow, to go with the stares that are on the ceiling inside. I sanded the kitchen table bench and polished all the wood trimmings inside...As well as cleaned the window tracks!!

My Skirt of Security!

 

I think we all have things that make us feel safe.

For me, one of the things that make me feel safe are my Gypsy Skirts!

I really dont get to wear them out in Australia, especially not where I am living at the moment in Australia, its a little bit too conservative for such  an extravagant piece of clothing!

So when ever I need a pick me up, a blanket of warmth and a feeling of I can be who ever I want to be, I slip into my skirt (in the private of my home) and feel wonderful!

I have two of these Indian Gypsy skirts, and the other one has been a wonderful adventure to have!

I will show you all the other one real soon!

The work on these skirts is amazing, all hand made, and yes it is old and worn and used, but thats the charm of it too! Where has it been, how many miles has it travelled!!!!

To me, it is really a unique piece of clothing, and I am proud to have one two.

Do you have something un-usual that makes you feel good or safe?

The Sounds of Our childhood

 This Morning after I dropped off Tullula at day care, I went for a run!

I have been feeling that my body needs to move, needs to be used!

After my run, I did some yoga stretches and as I did the final relaxation pose I heard an out-board engine!

(I was by a very calm beach, where many boats play around on the water, fishing)...

And I was delighted...

Yes delighted by the sound of an engine!

Strange??

yes, but it took me back to my childhood, to my upbringing!

So as I layed there, I focused on that sound and got lost in the memories that were all rushing back to me!

I used to keep a whole lot of perfume bottles that had that same effect on me, took me back to certain places, people and time.

But the sound of the engine was all my childhood in one package! 

hearing the engine was someone coming home, a visit, going ashore, going for a ride, exploring! It was soo much fun!

It was great!

                                                                                                                                                                            That's me, riding on the dinghy when I worked in the
                                                                                                                                                   Caribbean!

 What are the sounds of your childhood?

The Places I have been!!!

I often get asked how many places, country I have been too! And really I don't keep count!
But for the fun of it, I did this and here it is;

My world!!

Make yours @ BigHugeLabs.com

It a bit of a shame, on this map you cant see all the little islands !!! There actually are quite a few of them!!!

Tuesday Tullula

I just have been feeling like Tullula is growing so fast...She really is starting to no longer be a baby, but a little girl...So I though I should remember the days and Post a Tuesday Tullula  with a photo from her first month...On this shot we was not yet a month...

She sure has changed...

Hit The Road!

Well really its not quite that...But I like the sound of it!!!  
We are going camping for 5 days and I cant wait to be on the road!
We are not going far, just a couple of hours North, to Imbil State Park...I just want to discover where we live before we go further...
I really plan to do a few hikes in the national park thats next to it! Its gonna be great....

So I wish you all a wonderfull weekend and here is a little quote that i think is really nice:

Believe Nothing

No matter where you read it

or who said it to you

not even if I said it to you

unless it agrees with

your reason and

your own common sense.

                   Buddha.

Study Study and Grow!

As some of you may know/ or not, but I have been a student for the past year and a half.. Last year I did a certificate in Massage Therapies, and this year in July I started the Diploma in Remedial Massage.
I have been enjoying it very much and have learn so much.
Since Juin this year I have been working as a Massage therapist at A Perfect Blend.
Its been really good, and its such a lovelly place to work...So all could seem to be going well!
yes it is, but I think I have the Study Bug..

I went to have an Interviw at the Local Uni today, to discuss the possibilities of further studies!
It was funny cause the lady said "of course you can study" and I said "well maybe not, as I have never been to school"...Its funny how every one thinks that so interesting!!!

It has been interesting to realise that maybe in some way I am just catching up! 
After all, most people spend at least 15 years of their live at school, do they not? Some more that that really!
I have been to school, let say 3 years to round it up, so technically I have still 12 years to catch up!!!
Looking good!!!
How funny is that? had a childhood of playing, learning life in a very natural way, and now Im studying or will be studing extacty what I want!!
Maybe not having been to school was a good thing!!!
I wonder....

Do you have any studying as an adult experiences to share???

TuesDay Tullula

I have made those shorts, and I got her dressed and on the balcony I said, come on show me your shorts (after a few atemps to take some photo's that is), and finally she did, pose for me!!!
Too cute.

What a Find! Shoes....

I am an avid recycler, so that means of course that I buy a lot of things from op-shops when possible!!!
I needed a little bowl and the shop I went to, were moving things around in the shed in the back where all that stuff is, so no bowl...Stephen and Tullula were waiting in the car, and somehow I spotted the shoes rack and went there...And this is what I found, these two pairs of wonderful shoes!!!
Not that I needed any more shoes, but one was $3 and the other $2; at that price I just had to get them!!!

I am very happy with my find...But I cant help but think and wonder...I really felt that I had to get them as they were super cheap, but the high heals one, I'm not sure if or when/where I will be able to wear them...But again, I thought at that price, really it does not matter!!!
It is a bit silly...Just to buy because its cheap, and actually we end up doing a lot of that in our lifes, buying things because we just feel that we have too, and maybe never using it!!!

have you done that? Did you regret?? what was it? Post a Comment below to share your story!

Silver Work -Earings

So, here is a paire of earings I have been working on for a while! I have been working on so many different projects that it has taken me a while to finish these! But here they are all done!! And Im very Happy with them!!!
They are not your ordinary earings, but Im sure a lot of peeple dont want the ordinary things anymore!
So Im gonna make some more, and put them up in my Etsy shop!!!
So stay Tuned!

Cooking-Bacon and Carrot tartellets!

I really enjoy to cook, but I must admit that I suck at following receipt's!!! I really tend to cook best when I just invent something, and that's usually when we have not much left, or really when Stephen thinks we have Nothing left!!! But somehow I pull it together and have made some really good dishes...But Unfortunately most of those are going to be hard to document, as they just happen and then I'm never too sure what and how I did it!!!
So today I will just share a really simple and easy to make dish that came in a French pasty package!
I have made this many times, its great for Party's or for children!
And as i have already said, very easy to make, give it a try!!!!

Ingredients: Shortcrust pastry

                     200gr carrot's
                     50gr bacon
                     20gr slivered Almonds
                     20gr cheese (in France we would use Gruyere, 
                                               but here I just use tasty cheese)
                     1 or 2 Tablespoon Fresh heavy cream.
                     Salt and pepper!!!
 You will also need, Muffin Tray, Butter and Flour!
Step 1:  
Peal and dice carrots roughly. Put to boil in Pan with water until soft.

Step 2 :
Cut bacon into little squares and fry in dry pan...then also brown Almonds, set both aside!

Step 3 :
When carrot's are cooked, mash up in mixing bowl to a smooth mash consistency, ad salt and pepper to taste and add Heavy Cream.

Step 4 :

Preheat Oven to 180*, prepare Muffin trays with Shortcrust Pastry (prepare tray with butter and flour lining).
 

Step 5 :

Fill each muffin mould with carrot mash, then Almonds then bacon and cover with cheese. Place in oven for about 30 to 40 min...

And VOILA, its all done and its Délicieux!!! 

Do let me know if you have tried it and how you went!!! Also if there is anything that you did not understand in my directions, do contact me on my facebook and Il help you out!!!

Rear Window

I just love that  Alfred Hitchcock. movie Rear Window...Actually I am a big Fan of his, but I must admit that that is one of my favourite...It's all about people watching from your window!

Of course its the kind of thing to do that's very easy in those big city's of the world, where most people live in apartment bloc's!

When I lived in Paris, I used to do just that...Sit at my balcony and see what the rest of the world was up too!!!t was great fun, and somehow made me feel close to them without even knowing them...

Well, Last night if anyone was to of done just that they would of been very surprised to see a "Sarah", dancing away, all by herself in front of the rear window...head phones on and going for it!

Yes, I danced my heart out, and it felt GREAT!!!!

Do you Dance by yourself at home???

Le Jour A Papa!

Father's Day.

I guess until Tullula is old enough to celebrate it alone with her father, it is my duty to make that day happen for him. Yet, I'm very grateful that Tullula is getting to an age where she is cooperating, and it was really easy to actually make something for him this year!

At first I was just going to buy some nice t-shirt, as he is in desperate need of t-shirts, the one he has are starting to look like what the African wear, holes all over, one wonders how its still holding together!

I am very proud of him, using his things till there literally fall off his back...

So I went to a surf shop (as he is a surfer), looking for something cool for him...But all the shirts had BOLD BIG Brand LOGO written across the front of them all! No way....That's just not us...Then I was shocked at the price of a T-Shirt; $50!!! Double no Way!!! 

Not going to spend half of a weeks worth of food on a single T-Shirt, only for it to have a Brand Name on it, and probably made in the same factory as the dollar shirt!!!!

So, i did just that, got one at the cheap shop, for $6 and once we got home, this is what we did!!!!

 

I realy thought I had some sort of textile paint, but it was no where to be found, so I just used a permanent marker!
I hope it will hold, and that he will enjoy his T-Shirt...
I wrote on there, "you are ours" and the year!


P.S: the note book was to put underneath where I was writing, just in case it was to go though!

Make Me

I am terrible!

Always think I can make everything, and I start so many things, that I have piles waiting to be finished!

I want to try to make and do all sorts of things, that I get lost as to what is actually the most important!

Then there is my ecological side, aware that every little bit that every one of us can make is how we can help the planet, there is no point is saying that we are too little and that there is nothing we can do, cause there is!!!

So, I have decided that I use too much cotton...Well I'm talking about cotton pads, as we use them to wipe Tullula's little bum, with an Olive Oil base cream...

So I have made some Cotton make up remover pads (as they are called) in soft Flannelette...

Here is how I went:

*I started by tracing all my circles on

the material using a cotton pad as example;

 

* then I cut them all out;

* the sewing started (and yes I did sew a few projects)

* and there I was all done a pile of  

   reclyable cotton pads! How cool is that???