Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 March 2015

Gone....



So the trip is well and truly underway.
A huge life change for all of us, one that was in some sort of way in the making for a while, but kept being postponed…
We left home a month ago now…
Put all our belongings in a storage unit, ended our lease and have moved into the bus.
It’s been slow so far, we have taken more than enough time to sit back and relax, driving very little each day or none at all…baby steps…The first few weeks we spent really just sorting our new life out, figuring out where things were going to live, how we were going to operate living in a small space…
I think that side has settled down a bit now.
The challenges have been few for me, I guess I’m used to living in small spaces, used to living on the move, used to no toilets or showers! I have been amazed at the quantity of things we accumulate when living with space or just having the money to spend every week with work income!
We moved in the bus with 3 tubes of tooth paste! One we had at home, one small one was bought as a travel size and one extra one…Just in case…Of what I don’t know!!! It’s been like that with a few other things, making me realize that I just have too many things, that a weekly income also means; let’s spend it on something…Well not for all, I know that I am maybe a bit of a spender…But I am also a saver, and despite the fact that I love to spend and live with lots I also enjoy living with very little and saving!
Little by little these things are going to disappear and in a few months’ time we will have a more realistic idea of how this way of living is going for us…It’s all so fresh and new still!



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Saturday, 11 January 2014

Why am I doing the 365?

So Why Am I doing the 365 photo Project and where does it come from?

It seems the original 365 project comes from Hailey. and It was more of a 365 Grateful project, and the whole idea was to take a photo a day of the things she was grateful for, to help overcome depression as she says in her blog!
Since then the whole idea has gone far beyond in the world and types of reasons and project to do it!
I have discovered an amazing project done in Brazil of the one Light House taken every day, from near far and in any angle or view possible! I found some great projects on Make Use of website...There is the Cloud Community who take photo's of clouds every day...I would really enjoy that!!
There are some poeple who have as project to take photos of themselfs, like the Amazing photo's of Brendo Burton...He has such talent...So does Jee Young-Lee and the rooms she sets ups for the photo shoots!
So  there are many ways to start a photo project to document ones photo's, like the Photo Friday, or 52 weeks projects, or Dave that did his project with his little girl and really funny photo shoot of them.
Well as you can see there are many ideas and groups to document ones progress!!

As for my reasons for doing it and my topic?
My Topic is Tullula...My Daughter of almost 4 years!
I want to be grateful and cherish her for her every moment and decieded to take a photo of her a day for the next year to open my eyes to her little life, to the little person that she is and how she is growing..Becoming more and more her own little person...Before I forget, and to love her more today, everyday!
I have to admit that I have been suffering from depression ever since I have had her, or maybe it actually started slowly once we arrive here in Australia!


I have many ups and downs and too many days where I no longer want to be her mother or a part of her life..Yet somewhere inside me the fight continues and I calm myself, don't ever want my child to be heart broken just because I was not able to cope or willing to find a way to make things better!  I did not choose to have a child to just give up...So little by little I am trying to find things to help me, to heal me and to be a better mother, a loving mother and one that is able to let go and just be!
I know not every day is easy, that's why I have started my project with some photo's of her Grumpy and unwilling to listen...As that is the way my life is as a mother...Not picture perfect!

I have joined the 365 Project Community to showcase my one photo a day there!


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Monday, 6 January 2014

Summer Rain

So we live in the tropics and Summer also mean Rain!
Today it sure felt like the tropical rains had finally arrived after a slow start of the season...The grass sure needs it and mostly the Fire on near by Stradbroke Island sure needs it as well...It has been a few days now that we have been lost in a thick cloud of smoke with the distinct smell of fire in the air...making the sky's heavy and quite mysterious at time...

I must admit I do really love the Tropical Rain...I grew up mostly in the tropics and rain was very important for us...It meant we could fill up our tank when we would be on some lost Indian Ocean Island...It meant we could wash with fresh water as despite our tanks being 1000Litres we still had to be careful and most of our showers were done with sea water...I guess not having an actual shower made that part easier!
At some stage my father did install a 200L drum on top of the wheel house cabin and installed a shower, that was pretty cool!!! But it still was an out-side shower and one could not wash naked, unless it was done at night, so that's what we did!!!

But when it rained, we would all be outside, expect for my father, somehow it feel like he did not like the water, loved being on it, but not in it!
Us kids we would play in the rain, jump in the warm ocean, collect the water that would drip from the sails into buckets and use it to fill the tanks,wash laundry or ourselves!
Many a time I would start to wash my hair and be left with shampoo still in my hair as the storm had passed by!! So collecting the water was crucial to assure a rinse!
We would also maybe just wash in the Ocean, and let the Rain just rinse us as we carried out the job of filling the buckets, drums and tank!

I remember that when one would be done, there would always be someone inside with a towel...The feeling of going back inside would be one of feeling a bit cold, and somehow I remember also feeling humid?
I wonder why!!!

When we would be out at sea, on an Ocean Crossing, the coming of the rain was the most awaited on, as if we had not gotten rain in a while it also meant we would not of had a shower...Unless one was so keen and would of had a salt water wash, in buckets. Only when I was an adult did I actually really do that in the despair need to feel clean...As a child, I did not care...And when the rain came, we were mostly told to go outside and wash!!
And trust me, even as a child that weekly shower, felt great!!

We did not have a washing machine, all was done by hand, my mother had a lot of laundry to wash so I started to wash my own laundry at a young age,12 or 13 and I also had the job of washing my older brothers closes, and under the rain it was done!

I also remember tropical  rain in the Comores Islands...I was about 3 or 4..My brother and and I would walk down the hill from the house we used to rent to go to what must of been kindy...I used to have a transparent rain coat and I would collect snails along the way and keep them in my pockets!
One morning one our way down it started to rain, and I guess we must not of had any jackets on that day...Some local boys were coming along, they were a bit older than us. I remember the darkness of their skin and they were joyfully on their way to school, using Banana leaves as umbrellas!
They stopped to help us, and grabbed a couple more banana leaves and off we were with them under our very own Banana leave umbrella! I somewhat remember a feeling of being so happy, and just loving the umbrella I had, the coolest one ever!

I have gotten to see many tropical storms, some very impressive ones and some very beautiful ones.
One of the wildest storms I remember were in the San Blas Islands, I was 12 and reality is we had lived many wild storms, but this one was for me my first experience as an individual person...
It was raining, and the winds were strong...We had all sails out and the shift in wind direction also meant we had to tack...And take 2 reefs in the main sail and lower our two head sails...My brother was yelling at me to help him get things done...I was frozen and crying...The bowsprit broke off, the jeep tore and I awoke...From my terrified state to realise that I was needed and had to snap out of it...I helped my brother take the reefs in the main sail and that day I learnt that in times of need there is no space to be scared,to stop, to cry...One just has to do what has to be done!!!

I sat in the rain for a while, alone after that, and let the rain kiss my skin...I let the rain take a little part of my innocence away and install a respect for the nature I lived in that day!
I love the rain, and even in Paris have danced in the rain to celebrate what it brings into our lives!

So let it rain...Let summer be the raining season!


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Wednesday, 8 May 2013

For the past few months now I have been working extra hours well maybe it's even more extra days!!!
I have started a new job working at a spa and work there 2 days a week and have picked up an extra day at my original job!!
It's all a lure to get more money, more cash for my Europe holiday!
yes sometime despite all the extra work I never seem to be ahead financially... Crazy world we live in, the more you have the more you want the more we work the more we need to work!!
But at least I have a long holiday ahead... A goal I am working towards!
Yesterday I took my back pack to the dry cleaner to get it cleaned up a bit and well it turns out all the straps are rotten and I have to get a new bag! Good thing Easter sales are on!
Reality is that I am getting tiered,tired of the rat race for more money, for it only to be spent in the end on more material things, sure those things will be special and from France, but what will they be in the big picture? Nothing....Ok I might look and feel pretty good in a nice Skunk Funk dress form Paris...(and reality is that I will get one or two:-)...But what I am trying to say is that I get lost in it all and I am getting tired!
Tired of working for money opposed to pleasure, these days all I want to do is sew crafty things!!!
(but I need money as "Spotlight" is becoming an expensive hobby to have)...
I have a whole big new list of things I want to make, and still one to finish...
Gota get that update out to you all!
I think I am going to skale things down and really try to enjoy special Time with Tullula.
Last night she was asking and asking me to play with her, and I had one thing after another to do (none were craft either, so not much fun for me) but in the end, she just gave up on me and said to Stephen, "you be mommy and I be daddy" so he did, and she said to her daddy "momy, you want to play with me?" so her daddy that had become her "momy" played with Tullula, I mean "daddy"....Very confusing, but they played for a good hour and they never seemed to get confused as to who was who...
I think it was a revenge on me not being available!!
I get so caught up with work, house chores and desperately trying to do the things I want to do, i think I have been neglecting my child!!!
It has to change, something has to change...So of course I dream of sailing away, driving away (in the bus of course, and since I cant drive it I need stephen to be there too)...I even have been having dreams of flying of to Mexico!
Ole!!!
Maybe i am just getting itching pants, of something like that, after all I am not used to being in one place for so long, and this is starting to add up as being the longest time in one place....

 well at least the Kookaburra's out side our window a beautiful and let me come super close!

Oh and for all the non Australians, here is a little song/nursery rhyme that's a Classic in Australia!
Tullula already knows it and sing it to us.




Sunday, 7 April 2013

Meeting Manu Chao....


To see Manu Chao in Consent was one of the main reasons why we went down to the Byron Blues Festival!
So after his show, I had to go and hassle the security guard to go get him for me!
I had become one of those annoying drunken fans, but I did not care, i had to try, i had to say hello to Manu Chao...
I knew he was a cool guy, see I had met him once in Barcelona, and gotten him to autograph a Post Card for my Brother Morgan! What made me realise that he was a cool guy was that as we were (my friend and I) leaving the Cafe on our bicycle, not paying attention to Manu, he is the one that yelled out "Chao"...

But I was to be blown away even more....

So after standing there for a while with the security guard, and even getting other people back stage involved in "YOU MUST GO GET MANU FOR ME TO SAY HELLO"....We eventually got kicked out!!!

I tried...I was not leaving disappointed!

The next day, was spent at the beach...In a really relaxed manner on a quit beach...
4 or 5 men came down, and Stephen and I started the Classic, is that Manu Chao, not its not, yes it it, No, Yes, No and yes its him!!!
Passing right in front of us! As they had passed us Stephen says "Go Manu" and I scream (because they are further away by then) "the consent last night was great" (in French)!

We sat there in amazement for a minute until we realised that we had let him pass and go with out a photo, an autograph....Nothing!
Stephen tells me I have to go run after him, as they might make the loop and go back the other way, thus miss another opportunity...So I get up to see where they are??
Its ok, they are coming back and seem to have found a stop not too far, so i sit down...I want to appear cool about it all....
But I notice that Manu Chao has not stopped and is coming back this way, our way...I am behind Stephen, Stephen his back to him...
But MY OH MY, Manu Chao is coming STRAIGHT TO US!!!!

He just came to say hello, asked us where we were from, where in France I was from, casual banal conversation that did not last long, but long enough to get the photo of a lifetime and to tell him that After Bob Marley he was the one person I most wanted to see in concert!
That he had no idea how much memories I had with his music, how much travels I had done listening to those tunes....
He was humble, he was so easy and once again he has shown me that he is real to himself, a human a man with talent but close to the world and those around him!

Thank you Manu Chao!
That photo is going on my wall of Fame!


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Thursday, 14 February 2013

Camera set roll


She is terrible, and terribly cute it frustrates me...
She does not want to eat her dinner. Closing her eyes pretending she can't see me and that way she does not have to eat!

I thought I better take a photo to show her when she gets older. And as I pull out the camera. Little miss midget poses!!!


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Friday, 23 November 2012

Think Think and Life


 We have been to yet another Festival...Its been a year full of festivals!!! "Golden Days" in Coolum was a good day and it started to rain only as we were on our way back to the bus.
We spent the night there as the next day I had my 2nd market in perigian...It rained and was very slow.
Yet I made a very exiting contact; a lady is in the process of organising a Beach festival and she would like me to Host a couple of workshops of my "Ojo de Dios"!
I am super keen to do such a thing!!!

I am working on new product, some more sewing as well as a few D.I.Y kits. I should start thinking of re-opening my Etsy shop.
Just taking my time I guess!

I have been making little toys for Tullula, I let her have a look at the books I have and she chooses what she wants. Then stands on her little chair as she looks at it come to life under my sewing machine!



Home feels like a bomb has exploded and the cleaning never ending! I guess I have been also a bit slack and tired, other things on my mind...like sewing and creating!

As for things on my mind; Christmas is one of them as well as Tullula's upcoming 3rd birthday!
We got our very 1st Birthday Invitation from day care. A little boy in her class we don't even know!
Made me think; gosh what am I going to do for her Birthday, are we going to have a theme? Who will we invite? Up until now her birthdays have been a bit of a flop with no one coming to the 1st (apart from my mother who was with us for her holiday and Stephen's mother who popped by for a little), then for her 2nd, I had planned a BBQ at the park, but it was a raining day, and some wanted me to cancel it! But I could not, so went along with it, and the whole thing was a great big flop!!!
I just did not think or realise that poeple don't expect to eat, so I had all this food and them the guest left as there seems to be a silent rule that one stays at a party only for a couple of hours, so by the time the cake came out, we were alone!
Poor little Tullula, I don't want to do that to her again!

As for Christmas, we have not done it yet!
So what do we do about it this year is a big question?? Do we do it or will we skip it again this year? And if we do have Christmas, how are we going to do it? I say this cause I don't actually believe in Christmas, I don't like that Cola Cola has taken it over! So what shall we do about it???
I have to think think think...

Last night we had a really funny "bilingual event" I will call it when this happened:
At the dinner table I burped; and said "Excuse me" (yes in English) Stephen looks at me and then at Tullula with big eye's...And he says (in French) "oh maman a dit pardon" ...And Tullula says...."No No,You say Pardon (pointing to me) and you say Excuse me (pointing to stephen)"
We both looked at each other...She really knows who should say what, and we had swapped languages and it was all wrong to her!!!
How funny!


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Thursday, 1 November 2012

The days go by.




I finally  was able to convince Tullula to wear the pretty top I made her!
It was not an easy task as she was very upset that I put the Dragonfly on there, she wanted it for herself!!!

Now she is happy with it, ouf!!!
So here are a few "happy" photo of her showing off her Ruffle Sleeve top!

Stephen says that she is looking more and more like me, and the funniest thing happend yesterday.
We were driving home, and Stephen was in a bit of a Hurry to get back, so he kinda went thought an Orange Traffic Light!!!
Tullula started saying "Daddy stop; Daddy you must stop...As she was gesturing with her hands to stop!!! By the time we realised what she was on about, we were reaching the next red light, that turned green, and she told him he could "Go"....
To this Stephen said; "she not only looks more like you, but sounds more like you!"
We had a good laugh...I am the Morice Police as he calls it!!!

This week we have been playing a lot of hide and seek, and it seems that every time Tullula cant see us, she thinks we are playing the game and thus starts to seek!!

As well as playing catchers, running around our little unit is quit funny as really its all one way tracks, but we let ourselfs go by, and continue the chase!!!

Only to end by playing, wheel barrel!!!
You should see me, on all fours, with Tullula in between my legs, beliving she is actually holding my legs...Hmm...After thought, no maybe you dont want to see that!!!!

I have a friend coming for a month in December, all the way from Paris!
I am looking forward to that...So I am planning a little road trip for us all, should be nice!!! I juts hope we spend LOTS of lazy days at the beach along the coast!!!

I have heaps of things to finish and really hope to start doing the Markets. This Sunday if all goes well...

A week ago I attended a Post Natal Massage workshop, and think I am going to set up a little mobile pregnancy massage business...I just love massaging the pregnant lady's and want to get more practise working on their changing body's!


Oh my life goes by too fast and there is so so much to do!

So for now I shall get going!
Have a good day to all.






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Friday, 26 October 2012

Building Block


The weather sure is getting warmer on the Sunshine Coast, and its the 1st time since we have been living here that its not pouring rain non stop at this time of the year!
I love the rain, but I Love summer as well...

Tullula is forever changing, and at 88cm tall and 14kg she is one funny little girl!
She has been singing heaps of lullaby's:
  • Ba Ba black sheep.
  • Twinkle twinkle little star
  • Mary had a little lamb
and after me asking her is she could sing "Frère jacques" and hearing me sing it to her as she could not she can now sing in French:
  • Frère Jacques
  • Alouette -the chorus-
I realised that I did not know many French lullaby's, thus I have not been singing many to Tullula and she not knowing them was actually normal!
I do have a book with all the French one's, but reality is that I was not brought up in France, around French kids, French school all those places where children learn these songs! Sure my parents could of taught me some, but apart from those two classic ones they really did not sing other to us! I wonder why???

So despite my book with them all in, I don't know the tunes, so I don't sing them!
I also realised that my 5 years being an Au pair were always done in the English language! Even when I was employed by a French family, I was done to talk to them in English, to help them improve their English!
So all the lullaby's I know are also in English, and to be honest with you there too are limited!!!

We have been having dry night's and I even forgot to put her nappy on one night, realising the next day when she asked me to go for a pipi!
So now day time naps are done without the nappy, but there is a towel underneath, we never know!!!

I went with Tullula to my local hardware shop, and she asked me where we were going, I told her we were going to "Bunnings" (name of the shop). Tullula replied that daddy called it Bunnings, what did I call it? I said "Bunnings", so she then said; "papa dit Bunnings, maman dit Bunnings?"; yes that's right Tullula!!!
Realising that we both use the same word...


We have well and definitely entered the "WHAT'S THAT" period. I have pulled out my parenting book out and its been very interesting to know how to deal with all these never ending questions!
I know that Tullula is only looking for words to build her language skills so we keep on feeding the words, I in French and Stephen in English.

I have to write a post soon to talk about how that's going on.
But for now I wish you all a good weekend!

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Monday, 1 October 2012

Happy Days

For all those living in South East Queensland, we all have noticed how beautiful the weather has been! Spring has sprung and I have started to put away our jumpers and long sleeve shirts!
Tullula is officially potty trained (sure with a few accidents every now and then) and has gone up in the Junior Kindy Room at Day care two days a week!
I am very happy about that, as despite my holding her back due to emotional issues with a carear (in the junior kindy room, who has left now) I was starting to realise that all her little friends had gone up and she was left with smaller children in a small playground! I felt so bad...
But things have been going well!
I have pulled her out of day care on Mondays, so she will only be going 3 days a week again! I am looking forward to spending those days with my little girl, with summer on its way I am sure we will be spending many days at the beach!
I have rearranged her bedroom/my art room and plan to share it with you all soon! My sewing project is coming along nicely and I have to get  whole lot of photo's taken now!
I have been able to get Tullula to smile at the Camera, not always an easy task!!


Have a good week to all!

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Thursday, 26 July 2012

You know you are somewhere else when...


  • Oil is sold in bags.
  • The dairy aisle consist of a not so full fridge!
  • There is heaps and heaps of soup packs-meaning broken chicken bones..
  • good luck finding what you want in the very messy freezer.
  • Chips are sold in glad wrap packets and not frozen??
  • There is more flour to sell than yoghurt! Sorry, I am French!!! (ever been to the dairy aisle in a French super market?)
Well this has been Fiji, a nice place to visit and one I hope to sail around a bit more!!!

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Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Its 2am...

I can’t get back to sleep! It seems like this bed has some sort of 2am wake up call for me…Tonight I lay awake thinking of all the things I have to do once I get back to reality, life in Australia!
In the past I would lay awake in this bed with Braxton Hicks contractions. They them became real labour contractions (at 2am still) and later on; on the 15th of January 2010, its in this bed that I laid, trying to get some rest as a surge came over me to get off quickly as the waters broke! I think I kinda slid off somehow, in my puffed state!!
In this bed I laid for 2 months with my new born baby, before we were scooped up to my Dear Love Stephen’s Home land, Firm land of Australia!!!
This place is full of pregnancy memories…
But today I lay here in my fathers bed (he left us his comfy aft cabin) and I am here with a toddler, my little girl!
Who also wakes up in the middle of the night to caress my shoulder or grab my hand to place it on her belly!
She will not fail to wake me up at 6am…
I must sleep…I have already read my “Frankie” Magazine for an hour.
What next??
When I get home I want to set up an art room for myself. Go on a date for Stephen. Have some tea with the girls. Can’t wait to have some laughs with Ana and Heilailai on our “Thursday Night=Craft Night”, See my cool work colleagues. Watch out baking trays; I’m coming home! Sew, Sew, Sew…Spend hours, on the internet (limited electricity time on a boat!!!)
Hmmmm Maybe I now have some things to Dream about…


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Friday, 20 July 2012

Happy Goodbyes!


I really did not think there was such a thing!
I mean when is saying goodbye ever a good thing? Sure, if its someone you did not want to see, but then it’s not a “Happy” one its just a one of relive. Right?
There are indeed many sorts of good buys, and many words to say them as well!
-See you later.-Goodbye-Adieu-hasta la vista-Chao (we use that one a lot in France, despite it not being French)-SeeYa (very Australian)-Cheers (hmmm)-
Well I sure I can made a huge list of all sorts of word that are used in a time of departure!


Yet until yesterday I had not realised that there are as well very Happy Goodbye's!
We have left the Marina, not gone very far just 15 nautical mile South West to an Island called Malololailai (good luck getting that one said right first time round, my first attempt telling Stephen on Skype where I was, was more something like: we are on “Ma lo la lai lo lai lo laisomethingIdontknowwhat” He laughed and agreed that I did not know what!)
The little French group that had become some sort of family at the marina was breaking apart, as 2 boats had left the day before and 3 of us were leaving the same day…
Some going South, some North and some just cruising around in Fiji still!
We had spend 2 weeks all in a tight circle, doctor treating the others cold, nurse doing his bandage, I massage someone sore neck, the Matriarch being our yoga instructor, miss popular cutting hair of the little girls, kids playing together every afternoon (after school work on board) men helping each other out, woman sewing…It had all come to an end, all that needed to be done was finished and the calling on the Ocean was out!

Yet as we sailed out of the Harbour, and we had boats on our Port (right) and starboard (left) waving huge goodbye, we were all HAPPY!
HAPPY to have shared special times together, to have created a bond! HAPPY to be off on our way to discover new horizons, and they happy that we are about to see new worlds!
On boats we all know that the world is small and the earth round, thus our friendship will be there when we cross paths again!
That’s we way it is!
We have all chosen to live a life of Vagabonds and we know that with that comes friendships that we make and loose! But that’s just it, we don’t actually loose them…We just made new friends to see again, somewhere else and we will all have wonderful stories to tell one another around that glass of Rum in our hand as out boats sway at anchor!!

So our Goodbye are as happy as can be!!!


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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Life on a Boat!

I am amazed to see the amount of children that live on boats these days! I do wonder if most of the younger ones are not French? In any case at this marina it sure is the case!
When I was growing up on a boat, there were far less children and if there were some, it was unlikely they would be the same age! But we got buy, we played with younger and older, it did not matter!
At least not always!!

In France there has been for ages a really good correspondence schooling, but now with internet its so much easier! One of the reasons my parents did not do it for us, we met so many poeple along the way who had to wait ages for mail! My dad did not have the patience to wait for such things, especially that school was not a main focus for him!

I don't regret in the least bit (not any more that is) the life I had on a boat.
I look at the kids around and they are self sufficient, they have game with nothing and they are without a doubt VERY agile!!!
Not only hoping on and off boat, walking on a moving, swaying home but walking on a deck can be...slightly dangerous...To say the least!

Just yesterday my Little Tullula would of gone right trough the port hole and landed, somehow inside the loo, if I had of not caught her by the last leg and arm that was left on the outside!!!
Poor things...She got a huge fright! so did I...

One of my yachty neighbours said to me how good Tullula was doing to walk about the deck. She continued on to tell me that her Daughter would have her grandchild in a life vest just to be in the cockpit!!!
My neighbour also said, that really children knew their limits, but felt their parents emotions and that the mother being scared probably did not help the little girl feel comfortable on a boat!

I do believe that some children are more clumsy than others! We are all different.
Before I left on this trip I had someone ask me if I was going to put a life jacket on Tullula when on the deck?
I had not really thought of it, but went on to say that I was going to see how Tullula was going to go!
Last year when we came to visit my dad, Tullula was not a great walker, still a little clumsy on her little legs, and really we spend most of our time on land...
But this time I knew it would be different!!!

yet she is doing well...Apart from the hatch accident yesterday...I think i need to say that it might of been my fault! we were on out way to the shower ashore and she was only in Nappies, I did not want to bother getting her dresses! But she really wanted her cloths on, whimpering as she followed me! Ok, lets put some cloths on, so I stopped where I was- right next to the hatch- and got her shirt on, and her pants...Well that's when she stepped back...into the hole!

Anyway...

Stephen and I would also like to take her sailing when she is a bit older...But I wonder, is it not better to have children younger on a boat? When they adapt so much faster, when it all just becomes/is second nature?

As for now I am happy with the way our life on the boat is going!!!

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Friday, 6 July 2012

Landed!



Landed.
Today Tullula and I flew off on our Holiday!
Destination Fiji…To spend 3 weeks with my father on his sailing boat!
All week we have been telling her we are going on a plane, that Papa was staying home and we were going to stay on a boat!
Well we have arrived!
The flight is only 3hrs, despite my restlessness and eager to just be there already it went by quit fast I must say!
I have a “goodie bag” of entertainment ready for Tullula’s in flight entertainment, that came to great use as there was none provided by the air line!!!
She was exited to see the plane go “fast” as we took off and laughed her way though it!!!
Plus very much enjoyed the Apple juice I had for her to drink as an ear regulator!!!
Even asked for me, as if it was the way to go…She never has juice!!!!
 





 















Our arrival went well, Music playing in the airport arrival, people continuously saying “BULA” (hello in Fijian)…And a very happy Papi (grand-pa) waiting at the arrival gate!!!

(who had been sitting there since 1h15, as he had planned to take the local bus to the airport as its $1;50 compared to $45 for the taxi…Ok, the bus take 3hrs as it stops every 200metre and the Taxi 20min, but as he set out to catch the bus he got a lift to the main road, and at the main road did not get to sit 10min waiting for the bus when a taxi pulled up saying he was going that way anyway and would drive him to the air port for a minimal $4…so he took it and got at the airport at 1H15…He says he is happy, he got to nap in the seat at the airport…that’s my father)…

The smell coming out the plane, had a slight hint of spices, or was it just me looking for it, knowing there was a lot of India here??? (and that I love India)!
On the boat, Tullula is shy, but opens up real fast, and is happy to be with Papi, keeps on saying “its Papi” and trying to get his attention!
Tonight we went out for dinner, at the yacht club…well my dad had told me that if someone here says they will be back in an hour, expect then in the morning, and if they say they will be back tomorrow, its most likely they will be back in a few days…But he did not say that a grilled fish and chips would take 1hrs!!!
I think no one expected that actually at the dinner table!!
Yes, cause in this cruising world there is a massive sense of belonging!!!
I just love it…
See when we arrived at the yacht club restaurant, my dad saw an old friend, went to say hello, he then came to say hello to me, the last time I had seem him I was about 15years old!!!
Well he went back to his friends, but within  few minuets, they got up and joined us!!!
Just like that!!!
How cool is that???
Then and hour went by, un-noticed for the most part, as we were all deep into sailing adventure stories, or talking about this or that place…The world around a table!
We ate, and then on the way back to the boat, there was a group of Frenchies, all sitting on the floor, at the bottom of a boat on dry dock, drinking Rum and chatting away!
We got invited and there we were, drinks in hand, cushions under our bum and once more part of a social group!!
Belonging!!!
I have missed it so much!!
Its late, Tullula needs to sleep, I have pushed it a bit for my own pleasure!
But we now have friends for tomorrow and plans to go to the local faire!!!


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Friday, 11 May 2012

There comes a Time







There comes a time,
When sea and land come to rest

There comes a time when even the heavens withdraw

There comes a time when weary travellers
need a rest from the journey.

rumi.



Yes, I am oh so tierd and in need of rest!

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Thursday, 8 March 2012

Twenty Dollars Later!

That's the price to pay!
A few weeks ago I wrote this and well what I ended up doing is going back to see my psychiatrist! 
I used to see her on a fortnightly basis when I was dealing with Post Natal Depression and Anxiety/Panic Attacks I was having!
But after going to the see my Doctor, and bluntly saying I was depressed, she said that really I did not have all the symptoms of depression and maybe all I needed was to talk to someone! Ok, after all I'm not super keen on taking a pill every day for any sort of reason (yet I do take some things).
So here I am again, sitting in this chair, saying as much as I can in an hours session. Probably getting carried away at times as I tell my very long stories! Then every now and then, I cry and she hands me the tissues!
That sight kinda makes me smile inside! She must do that a lot, hand the tissues over!!!
I talk and talk, about what I miss, the things that are all wrong in my life, how I feel about this and that, the relationships I don't have, the friendships I miss...The way of the Europeans (no offence, but we are a particular breed), and the things that I do love about living in Australia!
Sure I complain about my partner and even mother in law (we have not been getting along AT all for a year now) it saddens me...But I just need to talk and talk!!!
I know people here, but reality is that I don't have friends I can open up to, so this is my outlet!
My $20 bitching time, my $20 pity party and someone to listen, how great is that?
Sometimes we just need to let it all out! I do have a Diary, have had one since I was 12. It used to be a wonderful outlet for me, to write and write! But these days I find it hard to write, when I have someone lying right next to me in bed! And reality is I need a person, to talk to and listen to me!
So $20 will be just fine for now!!!

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Friday, 17 February 2012

Mainly Music

Friday Morning.
We attend our local Mainly Music group. There really are some wonderfull poeple, giving so much of their time and energy into doing thease events for us all to enjoy with out children.
We have been attending on and off for about a year and a half now! Tullula still sits on my lap, does very little and is quite expressionless...I danca about, sing the songs and probably make a fool of myself as I have noticed that most poeple are quite shy and reserved in their moves!
This morning I noticed one of the Voluntears smile as she saw me predifn laughing as that was the song!
Yes I was over doing it! But Im sure she loved it!
She makes le laught that Lady, when ever two mother get caught up in conversation, she is not afraid to say in the Microphone "Excuse me; Excuse me; Excuse me, we are here to be with out children" So many times has she done something like that to talkative mother during the session! I smile, but she is right, surly we can give 30min of our time only to our children and wait that time for after, and catch up with a cup of tea and nice sandwishes they have made for us!!!
Well, thats not me!
I am too busy sing and doing the actions to talk to anyone, and anyway I dont have anyone to talk to!
I dont consider myself unsocialble, but its true that is is hard to meet poeple, make/build friendships!
Evenmore so being a forigner...What do I talk about??
I have not been in Australia Long enough to know things, to have things in common with poeple!
Yes, after 2 years I still feel left out! Hard...
So this morning, all I felt like doing was crying. But I helf those tears in...and left as soon as the session was over! I had to get out of there...
I went straight to the Community Health Center, I knew I needed to talk to someone and NOW!
I think I must come to terms with the fact that maybe I still am suffering from Post Natal Depression. Maybe I was right when I thought that that was all over fast. Maybe its NOT over!
Now I know that maybe at this stage its no longer "called" Post Natal Depression, but just plain depression. Who knows? All I know is that the sadness I fet this moring was all relaited to watching all those mothers at Mainly Music....So surly my depression is relaited to something baby!!!
I know that I am in a stiky hole and that my our life here is a what we hoped and I we are aware of the negative factors of it all...So I guess all that needs to be done is change that!
Right?
We all know that sometimes in life things are easyer said that done!
We sall see...
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Thursday, 2 February 2012

So, what has happened?

So what has been going on in the past month?
Over New Year's we went down to Mullaway Beach, camping with Stephen siblings and mother!
Then we had to be back on the 3rd as I had work. School Holodays means lots of Tourists in Town, and thus very busy at work and extra work for me as some have also taken a few days off here and there!
 Im a Massage Therapist, so we work all sorts of days!
Then I felt unwell, another one of my episodes; I wonder if its just plain depression or if its some of my post natal depression that lingers or just the plain fact that I miss my family and friends that are so so far away!!!
I needed a breack from it all, but what do you do that when you have work to go to,  and a child to take care off?
I can be a very solitary person, so the next best thing was Stephen that went away for 10 days! Volontiering on a sail ship, doing a trip from Sydney to Brisbane!
I could not be more pleased, home alone, OK,still with Tullula, but peased to sort my mind out, time to miss him and renew my Love, for us...
Then Tullula turned 2! How has this happened? My little baby is becoming a little girl faster that I can blink, and I feel like I am missing out on so much of it! I feel horrible, but yet I dont have much choice, i still go to school and have to work to pay for my life!!! Hmm, allmost sounds like I have a great one, but trust me, its not fancy nor much when one does not live on credit!
I also have been working more that I can, doing two jobs in one day, at the same time, setting up my market stall, rushing off to the spa to massage  a few people and back to the market to pack up! Yes, I am crazy!!!
But I have a family to feed! Stephen is struggling to find work...
So, yes I have been very busy and as you can see I can be excused for not finding the energy to then write a blog, about what? My Crazy Life! No fun!!!
So, now I better get to bed and wish you all a wonderfull everning!
one word; perserverance!


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Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Where Have I been?



I often think that I will just catch up with time and my absence will just be unnoticed!
Im not sure if that can actually be true today!
I have been absent and thats a fact!!!
Its actually never easy to re-start something,  once you stop for a little while!
Just like running, I was doing great, going once a week and able to run further and further!
But that too I have not done for a while, and Im sure I shall have to start from the beggining again!
My oh My...Its going to be hard! Just like this blog, I got soo into it, so into spending hours on the computeur eating up all my time! Trying to find something, maybe doing it for the wrong reasons! Who knows...We went away and then when we got back I was just disconected from the web, from so many things actually!
Its time to get back into it, but I sometimes feel like I dont know where to start...
But what I just have to do, is do it!!!!



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