That's the price to pay!
A few weeks ago I wrote
this and well what I ended up doing is going back to see my psychiatrist!
I used to see her on a fortnightly basis when I was dealing with Post Natal Depression and Anxiety/Panic Attacks I was having!
But after going to the see my Doctor, and bluntly saying I was depressed, she said that really I did not have all the symptoms of depression and maybe all I needed was to talk to someone! Ok, after all I'm not super keen on taking a pill every day for any sort of reason (yet I do take some things).
So here I am again, sitting in this chair, saying as much as I can in an hours session. Probably getting carried away at times as I tell my very long stories! Then every now and then, I cry and she hands me the tissues!
That sight kinda makes me smile inside! She must do that a lot, hand the tissues over!!!
I talk and talk, about what I miss, the things that are all wrong in my life, how I feel about this and that, the relationships I don't have, the friendships I miss...The way of the Europeans (no offence, but we are a particular breed), and the things that I do love about living in Australia!
Sure I complain about my partner and even mother in law (we have not been getting along AT all for a year now) it saddens me...But I just need to talk and talk!!!
I know people here, but reality is that I don't have friends I can open up to, so this is my outlet!
My $20 bitching time, my $20 pity party and someone to listen, how great is that?
Sometimes we just need to let it all out! I do have a Diary, have had one since I was 12. It used to be a wonderful outlet for me, to write and write! But these days I find it hard to write, when I have someone lying right next to me in bed! And reality is I need a person, to talk to and listen to me!
So $20 will be just fine for now!!!
